Monday, June 23, 2008

What the!

Went to get petrol filled this morning from an all-women run petrol pump.

The lady says "Can you move forward Auntyji?"

Plan of action:
- lose weight (again!)
- dye my hair (like timmy said last week- "Your age is showing. It's time to dye"....which sounded more like "Your age is showing. It's time to die"....crap!)
- start using ponds anti aging or something
- find a new petrol station!!!!

Hmph! I hate Mondays!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Where have all the bloggers gone!!!

No really! Where is everyone! Just because I happened to be missing from the blogosphere doesn't mean all of you decide to disappear too! At least I have legitimate reasons to be missing. First, you have to understand being in an internet company totally zaps the fun of coming online in the evenings to blog cause you spend the day just reading stuff on the net all day (and no, for all of you who think my job is as cool as just surfing the net all day, save your envy for someone more worthy of it!). Second, I've been suffering from what they've diagnosed as a lack of life. If someone's day comprises of watching TV and sleeping, I'm not sure where I'd get the dope to blog about. Even my mum who usually frowns when I tell her I'm going out for a second evening in a row has now told me to get out more often and do something about my social life. So I've decided to start by rejuvenating my blog life!!

Ok so let's start with my biggest self revelation this week. All my life I have wanted to become a housewife. No, not get married types but you know, just live off someone else's money, stay home and watch TV all day. But for the first time last week, I was left home alone and realised running a house on your own isn't cakewalk!

It all starts with you having to wake up much earlier than usual because the dog needs to be put out for a walk. My dog is one hell of a lazy dog. You can blow a trumpet in his ear and he wouldn't move an eyebrow (yes he has a 3-haired eyebrow!) but he does have a lot of energy at 6am!

By the time he returns and you can get back to sleep the maid wants to come in and cook for you. You tell her you'll just order in but she wants to do the dishes from last night and heat the milk and make you breakfast and the thought of breakfast does tilt the scales in her favour and you let her in. Little do you know that she decides to start her own orchestra with the pots and pans and the walls of your pillows don't create the sound proof effect you need for a good half hour sleep!

It takes you double the usual time to get out of the house cause you check the switches, the doors, the dog and bump into the guard who always has some bill awaiting payment. I always dismiss them saying- let my mummy come back- leaving them to think I'm some sort of pauper in her absence.

I think planting that doubt of not being of any financial use when my mum is away also helped keep the robbers at bay! Aaj Tak and other such entertainment news channels ensured that I spent every single night anticipating one of the 3 pouncing up on me- a thief, a murderer or a ghost! (Yes, trust me. These news channels also run programs on how some vampires and ghosts were spotted somewhere!!)

I slept (whatever little I could) with the lights and TV on for a week and usually just on my back cause turning sideways would either keep the window or the main door out of view! Only when the sun starting streaming in did I get some shut eye only to be woken up by the dog and the maid both spoken about fondly in the paras above!

I did manage to get some company during the week of my family's absence though. The giggly girl gang came in full force carrying chocolate cake and diet coke! We spent a much fun afternoon snooping on facebook and getting scandalised at old schoolmates' lack of clothes!

And another day I got a couple of B-school friends who like me vegetated in front of the TV and then decided to play a game of trivial pursuit! Trivial pursuit is a game of general knowledge. Vestige Blackberry Dhar went into clinical depression when he didn't know Akbar was the founder of Din-e-Ilahi (or however you spell it) and HR Superwoman proufoundly told us that what part a tadpole lost along with its tail once it grew up was an "important" question. Important for who and why is something I didn't debate cause general knowledge is definitely not my forte!

Anyway the family is back now and I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep! So good night folks! Till I find more dope to blog upon....

Enough is Enough!!!

I have to have to blog today! I'm going to put an end to this F-all laziness!