Saturday, April 28, 2007

Zee Classic.....the channel i mean.......

Tata Sky has removed Zee Classic from their list of channels. My mum reminds me at least thrice every day to call them up and tell them to bring back the channel. I haven’t been doing it cause we get to see saner TV programmes

Anyway, found this half written blog on Zee Classic which I never came around to putting up……..hence as an ode…here goes!

(Written while suffering from Big Boss end depression)
Life has been rather dull post Big Boss. TV viewing has become rather cumbersome with absolutely nothing to watch nowadays. I’m now spending hours just looking at the Tata Sky menu trying to figure out something worth watching on any one of those 100 (claimed) channels!!!! Of course mom is having a ball cause she’s discovered the joys of Zee Classic and with no other channel to justify my viewership, I’ve given in and am spending a lot of my time watching Mala Sinha and Nargis running around trees…..not with each other of course….

In the course of many of these colour deprived movie viewing, I reached the conclusion that ….
The heroines are drunk in the movies. This is reflected in the fact that they can never run a straight line….and need to spread out their arms while running to retain their balance
The heroines ate too much chocolate. This is reflected in the good year tyres tied around their waist (Experience speaketh!) and in the tooth aches they suffered. Everytime the man told her he liked her, she places one hand on her cheek, makes this pained expression ….. before running in a not so straight line as mentioned above
They suffered from sever asthmatic problems. Chests heaved below the tons of artificial jewellery and rolls of dupattas around them…again at being asked out (errr……asked out?? Ok, at being told they will be loved)
They had nasty skin problems….or would have it now anyway. This is because they seem to have been bathed in white powder before the shot is shot
The men in a weak attempt to differentiate themselves from the fairer sex (usually tough to see through the dollops of make up and lipstick) sported the ugliest mustaches!!!! Refer Rehman

On a separate note, caught my ALL time favourite movie Jo jeeta wohi sikander on air (I know each and every dialogue by heart….esp the curly you b****** scene….) and for the first time in watching the movie for the 100th time, I felt Pooja Bedi’s actions in the movie were justified. Aamir Khan lied to her for God’s sake! I’m also a bit ashamed to admit that the vamp’s actions are making sense to me……… Hmmmm…

Ok am off now…….. putting this up now…..cause I haven’t blogged in days…… so oh well, will be back soon!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Of Fat and Photography….

There are 2 types of long weekends I hate. One, the types that come after a week of socializing such that when the actual weekend turns up you’re left gasping for breath while fitting into your jeans. Two, the types where your boy decides to take off to the interiors of some strange district on work and you’re left with nothing to look forward to for 3 days!!! Hmph!!

This week, I learnt, the cool haircut was a bad, bad idea after all. After the first wash, it looks like Lenny Kravitz himself would die at the sight of it! Hence have quickly purchased a bunch of colourful hairbands to keep the disaster in check. (Separately, the boy insists hair bands are also called “alice band”. Has anyone ever heard of that term? Please tell so that I can put the argument to rest). Just when I was sighing in relief that all’s under control, one of the giggly girls told me yesterday that if I pull my hair back as much, my hairline will start receding!!! Hmph! Am back to flaunting my bad hair life.

So back to photography as is the title of this post, the giggly girl gang met up for a birthday this week. And as always we decided to get into a bunch of budday snaps, so much so that at the end of the evening, we were blinded by the flashlight and never want to see a digital camera for the rest of our live….or till the next birthday!

The session started with someone saying let's take a picture for posterity and we launched into a series of permutations and combinations of where each one of us should position ourselves (who we should stand behind to hide our fat or who can stand sideways to look thinner) and then we got into a series of “no delete that…I’m looking too fat”. So after a whooping 100 million pictures, we finally got one with which everyone was satisfied….till we realize that someone had her eyes shut!!! And so the drill began all over again! In fact, a couple of years back, I think I exhausted the digicam battery by making them take retakes coz I looked horrible in each and every snap!!!

The other day I went out with the boy’s friends and since we didn't have a camera with us, they decided to use my terrible camera phone to start clicking and what came out was a bunch of pictures of the table, of glasses, of elbows on the table or just these blurred people talking to each other. Lesson learnt. Never allow the person who’s 4 beers down to try his hand at photography! It took me one full day editing the colours and zoom to get the pictures back in shape!!!

And more on photography, the Rishikesh (not Hrishikesh as was misspelt in previous post….there you go rt…) pictures were finally shared. There must have been 4 cameras on the trip, everyone took the same set of photographs and not one of them made me look good! Hmph! In fact, one of the experienced photographers took these awesome portraits of everyone and then there was me, full of freckles, full of pimples and a whoopingly apparent upper lip!!! After much dismay, photoshop was put to good use and blemishes were got rid off and the sweet soul who did this for me was thanked profusely!!! Phew!!

On a separate note, my boy called up the other day in much panic. “Zee I dreamt you had decided to start advocating the use of the purdah system among muslim women”. Given the young, conservative, muslim girl I am…..NOT…the possibility of that happening is as close as me piggybacking a man eating lion! So I sort of fell off the chair laughing and I must admit that the boy was much relieved!!

Ok am off now. Mum wants to take me shopping somewhere (Ugh). Till then……Say cheese!