Saturday, November 24, 2007

It's about NOTHING

Seinfeld became popular for being a show about nothing. So this post is going to be just that.....nothing!!

I never thought I could dry up of things to write about. The loud, talkative punju in me...completely acquired, none genetic....made me believe that I would never lose an opportunity to keep talking!! And here I am at a loss of story....yet itching to blog....So here's a round up of my life in the last couple of weeks.

I've been traveling all over the place....Bombay, Pune, Chennai...the works! And here are snippets of thoughts from time spent on the move....

Flying not a piece of cake
Despite the many miles I have gathered at the expense of my erstwhile employers, I still get the jitters when I see a plane. I still need to shut my eyes and grab my seat and pray when the plane takes off...and I also let out an expletive at the pilot when he doesn't brake within 5 seconds of the plane landing. Also, the diet goes for a toss because you want to eat up everything they serve you on flight cause
a. You're cheap and think you've paid for it.
b. It helps you kill time on the scary flight and keeps your mind off the turbulence
c. You keep thinking the flight will crash any minute and you don't want to die on an empty stomach!

Got to see OSO in Pune. For those who've had the luxury of watching a movie from front row corner seats will know that it's not the best way to watch a movie you've been dying to watch. For starters, you see the entire movie through what seems to be a funny mirror. Everyone looks stretched or fat and highly distorted. So beautiful Deepika Padukone looks like a giraffe, Kiron Kher looks like she has 3 hips and SRK struts around with a 12 pack!! Liked the movie anyhow. I'm a sucker for slapstick and obvious jokes make me feel smart! Hmmmm....

Bridget Jones I'm not
And on the flight, I borrowed another chick flick novel from my colleague and while these books make for pleasurable reading, I no longer relate to them because
a. All stories revolve around women who are single and have some hot man falling in love with them. Don't remember the last time someone wrote about someone in a happy relationship
b. All stories are either about this "slightly large" woman like Bridget or these skinny model type executives. Now for the first kind, I look back longingly at my "slightly large" days and a "large pumpkin" is a more befitting description for me. And I don't feel like a smart executive cause feeling dumb is an understatement of what I actually feel at work!
c. Every female protagonist has a bunch of female friends and one gay friend who all fancy her prospective boyfriend. I have no gay friends and I'm not sure what I'd do around a gay friend in the first place! And I definitely don't want anyone fancying my boyfriend! Hmph!
d. They always have a smoking or drinking problem. Where have all the good girls gone??

Anyway, I've had enough of this nonsensical post so I'm going to go give my beautification another unsuccessful shot. The parlour lady beckons to tell me how much weight I've put on now....

Till then.....

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Theory of "Relative"ity

Are you seriously not sick of watching the Sawariya and Om Shanti Om ads? Aren't you sick of watching Ranbir Kapoor prancing about in a lousy towel while Sonam Kapoor is running around with a tent trailing behind her?And isn't SRK's dard-e-disco already giving you a dard-e-sar (read headache)?

Well whatever it is, winter in Delhi seems to have taken a leaf out of the whole teaser game and has been giving us a glimpse of herself since the past one month without actually settling in. That is, till yesterday when I started shivering and got under my blanket and snoozed off....only to be woken up at 8 and to be told that we have a family function to attend!!!

Now family functions are entertaining. You have all extended family, all their children and grandchildren and lots of chaos. The elders spend most the evening trying to showcase their illnesses and there is general joy in being the illest of them all. Most of the young girls flaunt their newly lost weight and spend their evening checking out every other girl who walks in. Most of the young guys.....I'm not sure what they do cause being a young girl I'm not usually allowed to partake in whatever conversations they like to have minus young girls. And the toddlers spend their time doing cartwheels right in the middle of the hall!

So yesterday we went off for a second cousin's daughter's.....errr....birth celebration?? And were engulfed by many ailing aunts with eye trouble and uncles with knee trouble!

Entertainment at such gatherings is never really a problem. Be it one of the aunts who would come up to my mum and says "Aapa, when you were complimenting my earrings, was I wearing one or two?" A much pleasurable treasure hunt followed

Or be it the aunt who refused to touch the Gulab Jamuns becauce they were too hot. Finally told her the gulab jamuns had cooled down and she had a go at it. And then when someone asked her how they were she says dismissively, "They're nice but they're not hot"!!! Try pleasing her huh!

Good byes at such gatherings also take ages to get over with. Sometimes when I'm in a hurry, the minute we're done with the hello's we start saying the good byes.....

Anyway, am completing this post from my office (my employer must love me) so before someone figures out I have this blog....adious amigos!