Friday, October 16, 2009

Sita Haran?

The last time I co-wrote a play was in final year B-school....and it was a complete random mish-mash of devdas-elton john being gay- saddam hussein - salman khan shooting the black buck- you get the picture!

Today in office, as part of the diwali celebrations, we needed to do a spoof/witty take on a given situation- and our situation was the Sita Haran.

So I got co-writing again. And I can't believe how much I enjoy writing these kind of totally random they are...and how they don't even make me laugh after a third read!

Here's the gist of the story.... (Truly for hindi speaking, bollywood types only!)

Sita, Ram and Lakshman are in the jungle and have been sent for the filming of Iss Jungle se mujhe bachao.

Ram is given a task which he tosses Lakshman for but since Lakshman has the lucky coin from Sholay, Ram has to unwillingly go to the jungle. 2 mins later he is heard "Iss jungle se mujhe bachao" and Lakshman decides to go to his rescue. But before he leaves, Sita pleads him not to go because she's scared of cockroaches. Lakshman then draws the 'lakshman rekha' to keep the cockroaches away.

Through a wild card entry, enter twin sister Gita and Sanjeev Kumar singing Hawa ke saath saath. Sita and Gita meet and Sita offers to make tea. As she walks away Gita tells her to make the water is pure....because Gita trusts 'wonly Kent' (True hema malini style!)

In the mean while, enter Quick Gun Ravan who's ho-ho-ho gets Gita confused whether it's Santa Claus or Ravan. Ravan is here to kidnap Sita but is confused by Gita. He decides to take Gita nevertheless. Sanjeev Kumar of course fights in vain because Gabbar has cut his arms off. So in true Tamil movie style there's a fight scene with just the rolling of the hips and Ravan takes it all. So heabd ucts Gita and off they go..

Now seriously, we ran out of ideas for the ending and I don't expect you to come up with it. But if you do, then keep it to yourselves. Cause posting it would mean you're even more arbit than I am!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

More Random Thoughts

Why I call this more random thoughts is because I've come up with random thoughts earlier as well....always....but these ones are seriously, seriously random. Like injurious to health type random. And that's cause I'm writing them after having driven on the worst roads in Delhi and think my brain fell into some pothole or something!

Before I start off with my own random thoughts, you guys have to read the most absolutely psychotic attempt at philosophy written by _____[{am not mentioning the name lest this shows up in an SEO result- (Do you not know what SEO means? Does that qualify you as internet illiterate? Get with it!)}- check out how I use various types of brackets- kind of reminds me of BODMAS from Math!!!- random thought #1 maybe?]. Anyway, it opens with something like this guy has had 25000 thoughts till date and has released a series of books on his thoughts. I'm pretty sure on an average any normal human being gets at least double the thoughts in a day! Then I wonder what gave this gentleman the right to publish his?

The answer my friends is humour value! Unintentional indeed! Some of them go like this
- If legs could rotate, wheels would not have been invented (Are you serious?)
- Have you noticed how few trees have flower but most have leaves?
- Life is more about depth than height

So anyway, inspired I start a series of seriously random thoughts myself....or just thoughts which have been crossing my mind of late!

Random thought # 2
(For random thought #1 refer above to random mention of BODMAS and significance of types of brackets)
I love hair wash day. I love early morning meetings on hair wash day. Because I can almost see my colleagues' jaw dropping in the transformation that happens from min 1 to min 7 of the meeting.
Min 1: Hair is wet. It looks poised and demure and settles around neatly on my head.
Min 2: The outer layer is drying up and begins the get a touch of fluffiness
Min 3: The inner layer is drying up and getting fluffy.
Min 4: It's all drying up and beginning to balloon up- like a nest!
Min 5: The next expands in size. Are there some birdies in there?
Min 6: Wo! The big bang is happening right in front of their eyes! The nest has been gobbled up and there's this massive bee hive resting on zee's head!
Min 7: Meeting adjourned because people need to get past the trauma of seeing my hair transform from delicate duckling to giant porcupine.
In Bombay, the transformation takes precisely 2.5 seconds.

Random thought #3
SMS: Did you get the baby elephant I sent you?
Surprised? These types of smses are perfectly normal for me. Of course I've received the baby elephant. In fact I've placed him right next to my ducks and horses on my farm! Am I rich? Yes I am. A 100,000 gold coins mind you. On Farmville. On Facebook.
I'm totally addicted to the game. I look forward to weekends so that I can plant the pretty blueberries and make more money. I talk less to my boyfriend because I need to concentrate on where to place my trees. I leave parties early (whenever I'm invited to them!) so that my crops don't die by the time I get home. I spend time daydreaming of the rearrangements I'll make on my farm to make it pretty.
Let's face it. It rocks! Get onto it!

Random Thought #4
I hate agency presentations I'm responsible for. In all my attempt to be encouraging with the agency, I keep nodding my head at every word. Today at the end of the 2 hour long presentation I could almost see my head popping out of its socket and roll across the floor. I think I need a spondalitis check up! (Head popping out of its socket? How gross am I!)

Random thought #5
Khatron ke khiladi level 2 rocks! Nauheed Cyrusi was super! I could never participate in fear factor. So is my fear to be on fear factor? Hmmmm...

Random thought #6
I have successfully lost 5 kilos! And put back on 2. But it's still one of the biggest losses since my chicken pox days- class 9. Yipieeeeeeee!

Seriously. The thoughts are getting shorter. And you're wasting your life reading them.
Till next time.