Saturday, November 29, 2008

Bombay

Cannot believe the horror in Bombay.
Cannot believe how unaffected some people were in office.
Cannot believe how no radio channel carries news.
Felt unreal to be discussing marketing when there was a war going on.
So relieved that all my friends and family safe.
So horrifying to know many of us can't say that.
So proud of the NSG, the army, the police.
Cannot believe the insensitivity of some news channel to air ads. So completely out of place.
Hats off to journalists who risked their lives and who possibly risk their lives everyday to bring us news.
Cannot believe how anyone can be so cruel.
Hope no one ever faces that horror- of being held hostage, of waiting for someone to get out alive....
It's all so real.....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Scary Hairy

Disclaimer: Gross Blog ahead! Proceed at own risk!

Today I read the newspaper. And of course that is an event in itself as I read the newspaper once in 6 months but the actual reason for blogging this is to say how I read the newspaper. I read it while I was driving....while the person in the backseat of the car in front of me was reading it! This shows two things. One I have great eyesight! (Clap clap clap clap!) And two, that the traffic if one leaves home post 9 is supersonically slow! (Can I use a phrase like that? Supersonically slow? Isn't supersonic = fast?). Well whatever. I thought it was a cool thing to blog about and so I am!

This was obviously not the gross bit of the blog. That starts here....

A lot's been going on this month. A wild rush of friends and family in the festive season, my cousins pouring in from London, my aunt here for a week......in all these things the one thing I've completely not found the time for is..........(Warning! People belonging to the male gender stop NOW!) .............. is the time to go beautify self in the parlour! Now that I've started I might as well tell you the entire story. My regular parlour had my favourite parlour ladies who would tell me all about their children and their hometowns and want to know everything that's happening in my life. Then one fine day the parlour shut down! And I had to move to this prim and proper upmarket one with a lot of fancy parlour ladies who obviously think I'm some Martian or something cause they keep recommending I do something to my face, my hair, my life......One of them even said "Sar pe toh baal hain nahin haath pe hain!" Hmph hmph!

Anyway, back to current situation. My laziness coupled with hectic social schedule has quite resulted in a mini rainforest growing on my arms! Initially I was happily trotting around with this horror sight and ignored my image in the mirror. But when I saw people hold their breath when they caught a glimpse of my arms (not very descretely hidden in my half sleeves!!!) and when I saw little thought bubbles popping up over their heads which went something like "oh my god- what is she thinking!" .....that's when I realised it's really a national calamity! In fact, I went for a client meeting today and I don't think that deal's coming for this very reason! Ok so I exaggerate.......or do I?

You really become very conscious of your looks when you know something is wrong. I for one have been hiding my arms behind my back everytime I'm talking to someone at close quarters...and this is happening subconsciously mind you! And when I meet strangers I keep thinking no matter what smart stuff I'll say, they'll think who's this tacky person and never take me seriously.

Looks really go to define a person huh! I remember this episode someone narrated to me when she was hanging out with a bunch of her friends and came across this hot guy. They were in their school days and so randomly went up to him and asked him for some directions. The smart looking guy turns around and says "I don't idea"!!!!! Oh well.....

I have to go now because this blog is blurring and I can't make out what the hell I'm ranting away about at 12:30 in the morning. At my age, this really is the wee hours you know!

But before I go....to all the menfolk who decided to continue reading :P

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Jerusalem Bells are Ringing...Roman Cavalry Choirs are Singing

Have fallen in love with Coldplay's Viva La Vida! Have been listening to it all day on loop!!!! How long has this song been around and why didn't I spot it earlier? I love 102.6 FM for introducing it to me! Muah!

PS- the video is a bit arbit!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Fat or Fiction?.............Fat!!!

The only way I could've returned to blogging would've been thanks to my fat. So it's back with a vengance!!! And this time it's coupled with age! Wowie!!!!!! Lucky me!

Let me start by refreshing your memory of that bright and chirpy morning a few months back when the sun was out and the birds were twittering and I was driving to office. I'd decided to fill petrol that morning and the woman at the station called me ........Aunty! The sun hid its face behind dark, gloomy clouds, the birds flew away in shock and 15 more strands of grey hair immediately plopped out of my scalp! It took me many months to recover from that.

A 115 chocolates later, night before last, we were attending Shool's cocktails. We came across a gentleman who deals in ships. Unable to make any intelligent conversation with him, we started downing wine like nobody's business only to end the conversation with the boy blurting out- "So since you're in the shipping industry, do you know how to swim?". Not quite expecting this, the gentleman took our leave never to see us again. We would've felt rather insulted by this avoidance but having had an entire wineyard by now, we decided to trot off to Turquoise Cottage.

Dressed in ethnic suits full with dupattas draped around us and suit clad boys by our side, we tried to blend in with the jeans, tank top crowd! Only to find the bar closing a few minutes after we'd arrived. How chic are we!

So out we walked and stood outside the complex bidding our good byes when this car came haltingly to the group next to ours. Obviously drunk youth were having a bit of fun...or eve teasing or something. Then they pulled up to us and this guy calls out "Let it be yaar. Yeh toh Family hai!". There was stunned silence followed by hurt laughter. Why oh why had we started looking like such Uncles and Aunties that we didn't get......errr....eve teased? Or whatever!

Now that was the age story. Let's move on to the fat story!

I decided to finally drag myself for a haircut. The last one I had was 6 months ago and my hair hasn't grown more than 2 inches. Not only that, it is now greying and falling like Hansel and Gretal dropped crumbles on the way. You know Zee's been here because she's left a handful of hair on the chair. You know Zee's hugged you because she's left a hundred locks on your shirt. Uncle Sam gets a new wig thanks to the hair Zee left behind on her pillow this morning! You get the picture.....But still a haircut was much needed!

So I trace out my hairdresser and I'm sitting in the chair in front of what looks like a funny mirror given how fat was pouring out of me!
"Hello Ma'am. What do you want to get done?"
"Anything actually. But not too short. I've become fat." Better to say it yourself than people pointing it out!
"Become fat or becoming fat?" He's almost about to congratulate me for some reason. Looks at me expectantly to say something.
"Err...no. I've become fat. Hopefully not becoming fatter" Puzzle puzzle....
And then the dimbulb lightens up! He thought I'm pregnant! Like OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it!!! I need to do something about myself....about my life....about my hair...about my clothes....about getting a new hairdresser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS- For whoever sees Shool's wedding pictures, the camera adds 20 pounds ok!