Eid was announced rather abruptly on Tuesday…..was up till 3am dusting the house (it's like we had our very own sandstorm here ......and i came out looking like a poor santa who's wiggled his way through an unclean chimney!!!). Why it was so abruptly announced was because some idiot in Bihar saw the moon and some wierdo in Bangalore said he's seen the moon so we in Delhi are wondering where the f did the moon lose his way in showing up here!!!
Bro in law still trying to figure why, if eid is based on whether the moon is sighted or not, why the group of maulanas were sitting in a closed room figuring out where the moon is. Step outside you guys and you'll be able to spot it, or not spot it, in the sky! How tough is that!
Wonder what they talk about.....
"So the location of the moon sighted in Bihar is 24X358X226 and in Bangalore is 87X38X556 so given that logic Delhi would've also spotted the moon had we not wasted our time sitting in this closed room" Nah!
They're most probably saying "If we don't announce eid tomorrow we'll have to fast one more day. It's eid tomorrow. Amen!"
Ya so basically they announced it at midnight that it's eid on Tuesday. And lots of people came over. And there was this one point in the evening when I was screamed at for being a recluse and was asked to sit in with the guests who're coming in. So I politely walk into the room and seat myself in a corner.......experting the art of looking entertained by the conversation around me while revising my multiplication tables from class 2!! (Yes I was very bored!)
In the midst of the conversation my mum gets a call and she goes in, leaving me dumbstruck with these guests.
(Time starts now) I look at the floor, start playing with the bells attached to the end of my dupatta, smile at the couple and was glad to see them look as uncomfortable with me. The silence is killing.
Guest: So beta, what are you doing now?
Me: (After being asked this question for 3 years in a row without any change in my answer or expression): I’m working
Guest: Really? Same place?
Me: (Trying to figure out what he meant by that……a. The "really" meant I’m not capable of working? b. "Same place" had a touch of surprise .... Did they think I would be thrown out?) No, I switched jobs
Guest: (Surprise that someone has actually employed me after the mistake my first company made by employing me and pity at the new company) Where?
Guest: (Totally blank expression…) Huh?
Guest: Err, what is that?
Me: We make ABC
Guest: (Sudden comprehension) Ohhhhhhhh (Makes a mental note to ever touch the product of the company again) So how are you liking it?
………..Now this is what I want to know! When people ask you, unless they’re your friends, how’s your work coming along, what do you tell them? Shit man! It sucks! I’d rather be a radio jockey but I’ve never seen the insides of a radio studio….. and the only reason I want to be a jockey is because I like music…I think…..Or Oh man, i luv my job. I luv thriving on consumer data and i luv SPSS (errr....like who cares???)
Me: (After much debate in my head) Good uncle
Guest: Excellent (Ok looks like I can't possibly continue this topic anymore)
Silence. Mother is still on the phone. I'm thinking of what to count next.
Me: (Cannot understand what in the world my mum is discussing with whoever has called for so long yet feeling socially responsible for carrying on this conversation) So how are the boys? (Why oh why did I have to say boys? Why not kids? I had no clue of the sex of their children…….. just that they did have some…..Oh God, please let them be the couple with boys)
Guest: They’re well (What kind of an answer is well?)
Silence. I count the number of flowers in the vase, the number of loops in the telephone wire, the number of lines on my index finger!!!
Me: (One last attempt) So which class are they in now?
Guest: Bada wala class 12 mein hai
Me: Oh really? That’s really grown up
Guest: Blank expression returns: You just met him 6 months back. Remember you adviced him on colleges?
Me: (Time to drown myself) Err…I’ll just go see where my Mom is…….(End of 10 mins)
BTW, saw the video of london london bridge on VH1 finally.......life has come a full circle.......this song just does not get off my back!!!