Wedding Bells....No no..Not mine!

A friend of mine read my previous post and said "It was so bad I was feeling embarrassed to even read it".....Well guess what! This is going to be much worse! Cause this is a culmination of a very, very bad day (I banged my car, got stuck in a massive jam, missed half of nach baliye (tragic!!!) and the bed side lamp conked off). So I’m sitting in complete darkness and trying to figure out the keys on my keyboard!!! Read at your own risk!

Given that I’ve spent my whole weekend at a wedding, have decided to blog on just that. Here are the Must do’s for a wedding.

1. Get invited!!!
Even if means going to GT Karnal road! This is because when there are 15000 weddings in the city and you’re not even invited to one….it does not speak much of your popularity quotient!

2. Visit the parlour (Ya of course this only holds true if you're a woman! If you're a man who gets his eyebrows done.......get a life dude!!!)
You can't possibly go to a wedding looking like your own self (read social outcast having a bad hair....err....life) when everyone else looks straight out of cosmopolitan (sari clad with backless blouses....and you're in your grandmum's 1920's hide-it-all-the-fat blouse!!!). However, if your parlour lady is anything like mine, it is highly avoidable. "Aap to aur bhi mote ho gaye ho" is not the ideal thing to hear at the onset of such an event!

3. Acclimatize yourself
It's winters and foggy and you’ll probably spend the day whooshing out a lot of smoke, shiver and quiver and your only sense of relief is to watch the mandap fire…… when you've fought with your mum over not carrying that shawl just to be all fashionable, it’s advised to prepare yourself mentally to suffer. And to wake up with a massive cold and headache the next morning!

4. Buy a present within your budget
Do not embarrass yourself by walking into Tanishq and saying you would like something for 6K . And if you still stupidly do so, brace yourself for looks of disgust and pity from the shopkeepers. Attach yourself to the pity giver as he’s the only one who will be able to dish out some dust sized diamonds which you can gift wrap
Related advice: When some other friends who didn't have to undergo the torture of being illtreated by the shopkeeper, pass a snide comment like "Err...that's a pretty small stone isn't it".....Smack them!!!!

5. Trip
This is not as simple as it sounds. To some clumsy ones (read me) it comes most naturally, but the timing must be just right! Just when you’re standing in a group and no one can decide who should say bye to the bride’s mum first, you should decide to be Miss Confidence 2006 and start leading the way….find the perfect spot on the carpet where your broken heal can attach itself….make sure all your friends are looking at you... and then…..simply trip….topple over...whoosh...wham...thud!!! This not only ensures your popularity at the rest of the weddings as people point at you throughout and snigger, it also ensures that the rest of your friends have top class entertainment (at your expense) and they can take your trip (pun sooooooo intended) for the rest of your life!

One Question: Why me?